Money Blog: ‘He Made Me Eat Cheaper Brands Than Him and Said I’d Die in a Car Crash – But This Is Why I Couldn’t Leave’
In a powerful personal account shared on Sky News’ Money blog, Amy* reveals the harrowing economic abuse she endured at the hands of her former husband—a form of control that left her financially powerless and trapped in a dangerous relationship for decades.
Amy’s Story: A Hidden Battle Behind Closed Doors
Amy, who once earned a six-figure income as the director of a large company, recounts how over 25 years, her husband used money as a weapon to control nearly every aspect of her life. His subtle yet ruthless economic manipulation included making her eat cheaper food brands than his own, tightly monitoring her clothing choices, and ensuring she had no financial independence.
"He made sure I became powerless," Amy recalls. "I was totally beholden to him." He mandated a monthly allowance for household bills—excluding the mortgage, which he kept in his name—and restricted her social interactions by encouraging her to quit work and move to a socially isolated area.
More terrifyingly, Amy shares how he threatened her life, telling her he was "comfortable with the idea" of her dying in a car crash. Her fear was grounded in reality, as she notes several occasions where she narrowly escaped harm.
Despite the violence and sexual abuse Amy suffered, economic abuse was a key barrier preventing her escape. A doctor’s warning about the danger to her children was the turning point that finally gave her the courage to leave.
Economic Abuse: A Widespread and Underrecognized Crisis
Amy’s experience is sadly far from unique. According to a survey of 3,000 women by the charity Surviving Economic Abuse (SEA), 15% had been affected by economic abuse in the year leading up to November 2024—a figure that extrapolates to 4.1 million women across the UK.
Critically, 56% of women experiencing economic abuse also face other forms of violence such as physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. The charity highlights that such abuse often prevents victims from leaving abusive relationships; 23% of victims reported economic abuse as the reason they felt trapped.
SEA CEO Sam Smethers stressed, "Economic abuse is not just control—it’s a weapon used by abusers to trap victims and survivors, leaving them powerless, drowning in debt, and often choosing between danger or destitution."
Calls for Government Action Amid New VAWG Strategy
The urgency to tackle economic abuse has reached the highest political levels. Labour leader Keir Starmer labeled it a "national emergency" as the UK government prepares to launch a new Violence Against Women and Girls (VAWG) strategy aimed at halving violence against women within a decade.
This renewed strategy seeks to address shortcomings in the previous plan, which the National Audit Office cited as having made "little progress" since its 2021 implementation.
The government has committed £160 million to support local authorities in providing safe accommodation and social housing to victims without requiring a local connection. It also continues funding SEA to raise awareness and support survivors.
Jess Phillips, the minister for safeguarding and violence against women and girls, acknowledged the devastating toll of economic abuse: "No woman should ever be trapped in an abusive relationship because of the threat of poverty or homelessness if they try to leave."
Beyond the Relationship: Economic Abuse as a Lifelong Weapon
Amy’s challenges extended beyond the marriage. Her ex-husband used costly legal battles and inconsistent maintenance payments as further tools of control, prolonging financial hardship despite her having full custody of their children.
Her story underscores the complexity and persistence of economic abuse, demonstrating that escaping an abusive relationship requires more than physical separation—it demands financial empowerment and systemic support.
Recognizing and Responding to Economic Abuse
For those who may recognize similar patterns in their lives or those of loved ones, the NHS website offers guidance on identifying domestic abuse and finding help. Support organizations such as Samaritans are also available for emotional assistance (UK: 116 123; US: 1-800-273-TALK).
As Amy’s story illustrates, economic abuse is a critical but often invisible aspect of domestic violence. Its integration into national strategies is a vital step toward ensuring victims are not just protected, but empowered to rebuild their lives in safety.
*Name changed to protect identity.
Related Money Blog Highlights This Week
- ‘Sin tax’ hikes and mortgage changes: Economists forecast tax increases and eased mortgage borrowing rules to help address public finance deficits.
- State pension age review: The government begins an early assessment of the current pension age in response to changing demographics.
- Supermarket delivery discounts: Waitrose introduces a subscription model promising significant savings on delivery costs.
- Reader money stories: Coverage of British Airways refund struggles and tips for budget-friendly family meals over the summer.
Stay tuned to Sky News Money for further updates and in-depth stories on personal finance, consumer issues, and powerful personal accounts like Amy’s.
For more information and support links on domestic abuse and financial empowerment, visit the Surviving Economic Abuse charity website.