"He Made Me Eat Cheaper Brands Than Him and Said I’d Die in a Car Crash" – The Hidden Face of Economic Abuse

A Survivor’s Story and a National Call to Action

Amy* endured 25 years of domestic violence and economic abuse at the hands of her husband, yet leaving was never straightforward. Despite serving as a director of a successful company and earning a six-figure salary, Amy found herself financially powerless, trapped by her husband’s deliberate control over money and resources.

“There was a real fear that he could kill me,” Amy recalls. “He used money as a control tool, ensuring I was utterly dependent on him.” He monitored every aspect of her spending, forcing her to eat cheaper brands than he did and limiting her clothing choices so severely she barely had outfits suitable beyond school drop-offs.

Amy’s story reflects a much wider problem. Economic abuse—where a partner deliberately restricts or exploits access to money and necessities like food, clothing, and transportation—is a common but often overlooked form of domestic abuse.

Economic Abuse: A Widespread Yet Underreported Problem

A recent survey of 3,000 women by the charity Surviving Economic Abuse (SEA) found that 15% of women had experienced economic abuse in the year up to November 2024 alone. Extrapolated nationwide, this would equate to an estimated 4.1 million women affected across the UK.

Keir Starmer has labelled economic abuse a “national emergency” as the government prepares to unveil a new Violence Against Women and Girls (VAWG) strategy, aiming to halve such violence within a decade. The previous strategy, introduced by the Conservative government in 2021, made “little progress,” according to the National Audit Office.

Sam Smethers, CEO of SEA, has repeatedly urged that economic abuse be placed at the heart of the new strategy. “It’s the only way to help survivors and their children escape and rebuild their lives,” she says. “To break the cycle of domestic abuse once and for all, the government must prioritise tackling economic abuse.”

How Economic Abuse Works: The Story Behind the Numbers

Amy met her ex-husband in the mid-1990s. Initially appearing “like a normal bloke,” he gradually imposed control by isolating her socially and financially. He encouraged her to quit her job and become a stay-at-home mother, moving to a new area where she lacked support.

“He gave me a monthly allowance to cover all the bills except the mortgage, which he kept in his name,” Amy explains. “I was expected to manage everything within that limited budget.” Her husband deliberately ensured she ate cheaper foods and had inadequate clothing, reinforcing a deep dependence on his resources.

Economic abuse rarely occurs in isolation. More than half (56%) of women experiencing economic abuse also suffer physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. For Amy, it was a terrifying combination: “He said he was comfortable with the idea of my death and thought it might be in a car crash. He meant it because I nearly died several times during our marriage.”

The Obstacles to Leaving and Aftermath of Abuse

Nearly a quarter (23%) of economic abuse survivors report that financial control stopped them from leaving abusive partners. Amy’s struggle continued even after separating. Her ex-husband prolonged divorce proceedings to drain her finances and paid child maintenance inconsistently, using money as leverage to manipulate contact with their children.

Smethers highlights the devastating cycle economic abuse creates: “It’s more than control – it’s a weapon, trapping victims in debt, poverty, and danger. Many are forced to choose between staying with a dangerous abuser or destitution.”

Jess Phillips, the safeguarding and violence against women and girls minister, acknowledges the scale of the problem. “No woman should be trapped by the threat of violence or the prospect of poverty and homelessness,” she says. The government has allocated £160 million for victims’ safe accommodation and social housing, as well as continued funding for SEA’s awareness and support services.

Looking Forward: The Need for a Focused Strategy

The new VAWG strategy, expected this autumn, promises to place economic abuse at its core. For survivors like Amy, this is vital not only to escape abuse but to rebuild safe, independent lives.

Support is available for those affected by domestic abuse. The NHS website provides guidance on recognizing abuse and finding help. Additionally, emotional support is accessible through organisations such as Samaritans at 116 123 (UK) or their respective local numbers.

*Name changed to protect identity.

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